Last Day!

Last day! But I’m actually not even really excited. I’m not planning to go on a huge binge or anything. I’m going to try to eat fairly similarly to what I’ve been eating, although I will stop eating those cardboard cookies with my tea.

I felt pretty terrible today. I also had trouble falling asleep last night. It took me quite a while and I was really cold but I didn’t want to put a lot of clothes on because I didn’t want to wake up hot. I’m not sure if it was because of the drink I had last night. I don’t really drink hard liquor at all, let alone when I’m on a detox. That was probably a pretty bad idea, I should have stuck to wine. I had school today and I forgot to bring a snack so I was starving by lunch time. When we got the restaurant I felt a bit shaky. I thought I would feel better after I ate but I didn’t. We went to House on Parliament and I couldn’t follow the plan exactly but I didn’t have any bread. After lunch I felt really crappy in class, I started feeling really overwhelmed about becoming a therapist and feeling like I know nothing and what the hell am I doing, I can’t help people, I don’t have the skills. I also started worrying about baby because she’s sleeping strangely and I emailed our sleep consultant and she told us to track 2 days of her sleep/activity. I guess this triggered me and made me feel like I was doing something wrong with Solange. Although really I don’t think we are because she is super happy and generally seems fine. I guess the plus side was I had no desire to drink at dinner. But I felt a bit sad about it. There was a wine magazine lying around and when I saw it I didn’t feel that same sense of excitement I usually feel when thinking about wine.

I made the raw brownies. As I suspected it didn’t really work in the vitamix. Luckily we do have a mini food processor so I ended up mixing them in that, in batches. They taste pretty good, but not as good as the blogger made them sound. (I technically shouldn’t have been eating them since they have dates in them, but clearly I’m not that strict at this point) These bloggers man, they are so good at making their food sound amazing and I always believe them. Oh well, they are a definite improvement over cardboard.

  • 7:30 am cinnamon coconut cookie with tea
  • 9:00 am latte
  • 10:30 am cocoa almond smoothie
  • 1:30 pm potato poutine, sweet potato fries and salad
  • 7:30 pm sea bass, rice, sweet potato and salad

Day 20 – Saturday April 23r

  • 8:00 am cinnamon coconut cookie with tea
  • 9:00 am ½ piece of worth the wait crustless quiche
  • 11:00 am ½ piece of worth the wait crustless quiche
  • 2:00 pm banana
  • 4:00 pm chicken sausage, rice, tomato and avocado
  • 7:30 pm chicken leg with rice, a bit of carrots and onions and some Caesar salad made with spinach and no crutons
  • 9:00 pm bourbon drink

I went out with a friend in the evening. We tried to go to a board game café but of course there was a huge wait so we ended up going to a pub while we were waiting and I decided I’d have a drink. I should probably have had wine but the wine they had was all crappy and they had this maple old fashioned which sounded good so I had that.

Day 19 – Friday April 22nd

Only 3 more days without wine! It sounds like a short time but feels really long. And speaking of drinking wine I have a bit of dilemma. I really want a drink as soon as the detox is over. But, ideally, after the detox I’d like to drink less than I was before. So if I have a drink the first day the detox is over, which is a Monday, that’s not really getting me off to a very good start. Amr said I could have a drink of wine on Monday and then he’d finish the bottle off so I wouldn’t have to have any the rest of the week. What a sweetheart. If I ever do a detox again I’ll plan it so my last day is a Thursday 🙂

  • 7:00 am cinnamon coconut cookie with tea
  • 9:00 am worth the wait crustless quiche
  • 11:00 am crackers with dip
  • 2:00 pm chili with rice and cheese and avocado
  • 6:00 pm a few more crackers with dip (we got this really good fennel parmesan dip from leslieville cheese)
  • 8:00 pm pork tenderloin, rice and salad

Day 18 – Thursday April 21

  • 7:00 am cinnamon coconut cookie with tea
  • 9:00 am worth the wait crustless quiche with tomatoes and avocado
  • 1:00 pm restaurant green chicken curry with rice
  • 6:00 pm a few crackers with dip
  • 7:30 pm cheddar sausage, salad and rice
  • 9:30 pm herbal tea

I’ve started reading the book wheat belly. It’s about how bad wheat is for us. Specifically wheat the way it is produced now. It was ok 50 years ago but since it’s been so modified it is now really unhealthy for people and the cause of many health issues including obesity. Maybe I’ll become gluten free. That would really piss off my family! My family adamantly hates vegans, vegetarians, gluten free people (not sure what those are called, is there a term?) etc. I tend to agree with them. But I’m a little more tolerant 🙂 I remember one time a customer came into my dad’s restaurant and asked the server about what was gluten free on the menu. My dad’s response to the server was something along the lines of ‘that person should just go kill themselves’.  That pretty much sums it up.

I’ve started looking at recipes for ‘healthy’ brownies to make once this detox is over. They all use dates instead of sugar and they don’t have any flour in them. I’m pretty excited to try them, I hope they are good. Here are three I’m considering.

The raw brownie

No bake caramel chocolate fudge slice

Grain free fudge brownies

I’m thinking of starting with the raw brownie because it has so few ingredients. The problem is it says to use a food processor which I don’t have. I have a vitamix which might work. If it doesn’t I guess I’ll just end up with a big gooey mess. I always wonder if I should get a food processor. A lot of people say it’s not worth it because they are hard to clean and you end up never using them. But I just hate it when I find a great recipe and I can’t make it because I don’t have a food processor.

I also learned something cool: the difference between cocoa powder and cacao powder. Both are made from cocoa beans but cocoa powder is from beans that have been roasted and cacao powder is from the raw beans. So cacoa is much healthier. It’s a really good source of magnesium and contains high amounts calcium, zinc, iron, copper, sulfur, and potassium.

So, obviously I’ve been thinking about what to do after the detox. In the book it suggests reintroducing foods slowly. It says on the day after you finish you should choose one food to eat again, usually the food you missed most, and eat that food at all three meals along with foods you ate during the detox. I missed wine the most, does that mean I’m going to have wine for breakfast? Or maybe she doesn’t count wine as a food so I can add it as well as food? Likely she is some sort of super health freak who doesn’t drink ever and assumes no one else will either. (There’s that angry sarcasm coming out!) Anyway, after eating the chosen food on the first day don’t eat it again for the next 2 days so you can assess any changes and determine if you have a sensitivity to it. I guess that means that you aren’t introducing any other new foods on those two days either. So basically you are on the detox for a few more weeks while you reintroduce foods! F that!

Day 17 – Wednesday April 20

I continue to feel pretty much the same. I’m not sleeping any better and I don’t feel any different. I still crave sweets and especially wine, though some days more than others. Today I felt ok without it. I have lost a few pounds (yes, I weighed myself even though I said I wouldn’t) but of course I have lost weight, I haven’t been drinking! Today I taught baby yoga and the woman who owns the studio said I looked different, she said she noticed that my waist seemed smaller. So that’s cool I guess.  It looks the same to me though.

So, a few nights ago I had this dream:

I was going into work to see people. Everything was a mess because they are redoing the office and a lot of people were at temporary desks that were blue, sort of like big recycling bins. We were trying to plan a dinner and it was going to be at some bbq place. When I went to leave I went to get my stuff from the desk I had left it at and it was gone. It had been moved because of the construction. So I went to the help desk which was like a grocery check out to ask and the woman didn’t know. I was getting really angry, I was like, my whole life was in that back pack, I need it! Even though, in reality I couldn’t think of what was even in the back pack. I had my purse with me which had my wallet and phone and everything important. Still, I was annoyed. Then some old guy who was like the boss came along and I asked him and he said it’s too bad. And he told the checkout girl to just move me along. So then I started telling him my whole life was in that bag. But he didn’t care and I knew there was nothing I could do. So I left through the sliding glass doors (like grocery store doors) and in the parking lot I started screaming in frustration.

I talked to my therapist about the grocery store dream and after telling her about it she asked if there was anything in my life that I thought I could get rid of. In the dream I obviously didn’t need the back pack, I just thought I did. Really everything I needed was in my purse and the ‘boss’ (i.e. me) wasn’t concerned with me having the backpack. The first thing that came to mind was the sugar detox. So we decided that what I could get rid of was not necessarily all sugar, but more my attitudes toward sugar and thinking I need it to be happy. The fact that it was at work indicates that it’s something I’m working on right now and the grocery store makes it related to food. Pretty cool. I love dream therapy 🙂

  • 7:00 am cinnamon coconut cookie with tea
  • 7:30 am worth the wait crustless quiche
  • 11:00 am sausage, quinoa and peas with cream sauce, a little bit of sweet potato
  • 3:00 pm chocolate almond milk smoothie
  • 7:30 pm arctic char, quinoa salad, sweet potato and green salad

The quiche was really good. I actually made it on the weekend but just had it for the first time today. It’s basically just caramelized onions, bacon and eggs.

Day 16 – Tuesday April 19

  • 7:00 am cinnamon coconut cookie with tea
  • 8:00 am southwest skillet with 2 eggs
  • 11:30 am almonds and an apple
  • 2:30 pm chicken wrapped in prosciutto, quinoa and peas
  • 8:00 pm chicken salad with greens
  • 9:30 pm half a sausage and some almonds

Solange has been fairly cranky in the mornings for most of this detox and also she’s not sleeping as well. She used to fall asleep right at 7pm when we put her down but the last few nights its taken her an hour to fall asleep. I noticed that my breasts have gotten smaller. My massive breastfeeding bras are a little lose now. I think maybe I’m not eating enough carbs and my milk supply has gone down. I guess I should be eating more sweet potato and rice and stuff. I hope I haven’t messed up baby with this detox 😦

Day 15 – Monday April 18th

  • 7:30 am cinnamon crumb cake with black tea
  • 8:30 am one buffalo chicken egg muffin
  • 11:00 am chicken salad with greens and red pepper
  • 3:00 pm chocolate almond milk smoothie
  • 7:30 pm chicken stuffed with spinach, sundried tomatoes and cheese with cream sauce, quinoa and salad

I’m finally done that disgusting crumb cake. Time to go back to those boring cinnamon coconut cookies. After the detox I’m not sure what I will eat with me tea. The only thing I could think of to do was just have my tea with nothing and then later on eat a proper breakfast of eggs or whatever. Then I was thinking about it more and decided that maybe I could make something with natural sugar and other healthy ingredients. There are tons of recipes for “healthy” brownies and cookies. I used to think these recipes were stupid. If you want a treat just go for it, don’t pretend you’re being healthy. But if I’m going to have something sweet anyway maybe it’s better to have something homemade with honey or dates as a sweetening agent instead of those crappy fibre one bars that are full of high fructose corn syrup. So that’s my new plan.  Sweet treats without white sugar or flour. For breakfast anyway. I’ll still eat normal treats sometimes, I’m not a saint 🙂